does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
