Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We have so much sex to catch up on
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
