They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
