I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
