no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I pour the whiskey from now on
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
