Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
