Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
