I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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