The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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