she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
