Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
