Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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