We're facebook friends in real life
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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