No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
