He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
