at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
