I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
