I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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