even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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