ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
