R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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