is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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