Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
