i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
