Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
