Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
