It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
