Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
