Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
