where does the pee come out of this thing
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
