Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
