u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
