What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
