i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ugly people sure do ruin things
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
