Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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