Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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