you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
