I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
