where am i from again
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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