you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
