Do vagina's smell?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
