I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
