I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
