Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
