We won't sleep together?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
