She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
