Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
