they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
