I think I died a long time ago.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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