I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This house was built for laser tag.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
