Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
