I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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